As busy professionals with compounding responsibilities, isn’t it becoming more and more difficult to find time just to … think? Commiserating with colleagues and friends, we share how our work days are filled with an almost obsessed focus on getting as much work done as possible, countless meetings and squeezing every bit of air out of our schedules. In our other (and most important) roles as fathers/mothers and husbands/wives, we’re faced with another harried stretch of time each evening filled with family dinner, kid’s activities and the myriad other things that families require. Weekends are more of the same.

Clever vernacular such as “perpetual hurry syndrome” and “time poverty,” are beginning to circulate when describing this phenomenon, but I simply choose to call it alarming. We make decisions all day long, but how much of it is reactive and responding to what others throw your way? Taking time to think strategically, be creative or even pause to ponder an issue before responding is a growing challenge. The fact that many of us view time to think as a luxury is a sad indictment of the culture in which we live.

We are addicted to background “noise” and connecting with others through computer and PDA screens. I’m not opposed to technology, but recognize how I’ve allowed it to exacerbate my challenges with finding quiet time to think. What used to be a leisurely drive to work a decade ago is now crammed with phone calls … and loud music. Waiting for appointments to arrive, stops at red lights and elevator rides are now opportunities to respond with my “Crackberry” to the barrage of emails I receive daily. In an effort to become more efficient, I am sacrificing thinking time.

Research for this article uncovered these insights into our penchant for technology and predisposition for interruption:

Last year, AOL’s third annual “Email Addiction” survey revealed that email use on portable devices has nearly doubled since 2004. Findings from the company’s release include: The average email user checks mail about five times a day, and 59 percent of those with portable devices are using them to check email every time a new message arrives. Forty-three percent of email users with portable devices say they keep the device nearby when they are sleeping to listen for incoming mail.

With or without portable devices, 15 percent of Americans describe themselves as “addicted to email,” and many are even planning their vacations with email access in mind. About four in 10 email users say it is “very” or “somewhat” important to

them to think about email accessibility when they are planning a vacation, and 83 percent of email users admit to checking their mail once a day while on vacation.

The Wall Street Journal’s Sue Shellenberger writes in her article, “Multitasking Makes You Stupid, Studies Say:” A growing body of scientific research shows one of professionals’ favorite time-saving techniques—multitasking, can actually make you less efficient and, well, more stupid. Trying to do two or three things at once or in quick succession can take longer overall than doing them one at a time, and may leave you with reduced brainpower to perform each task.

From a TIME magazine article titled, “Help! I’ve Lost My Focus:” In a study of 1,000 office workers from top managers on down, Basex, an information-technology research firm, found that interruptions now consume an average of 2.1 hours a day, or 28 percent of the workday. The two hours of lost productivity included not only unimportant interruptions and distractions but also the recovery time associated with getting back on task. Estimating an average salary of $21 an hour for “knowledge workers,” Basex calculated that workplace interruptions cost the U.S. economy $588 billion a year.

A study by Sylvia Ann Hewlett and Carolyn Buck Luce published in the Harvard Business Review states: Forty-five percent of high-earning managers are too tired to converse with their spouse or partner after a long day at the office. This strain is wreaking havoc on family and personal lives.

“Crackberry” was named the 2006 Webster’s New World Collegiate Dictionary New Word of the Year.

Baroness Susan Greenfeld, well-known British author and Professor of Pharmacology at the University of Oxford, said in a World Business article titled, “How Technology is Changing the Manager’s Brain: “We’re already seeing the impact of the IT revolution on the workplace. Working on the screen is having a massive impact on the way we think and process information. The screen culture is not conducive to taking time to think—everything is instantly available. The result is iconic thinking, quick fixes and short attention spans.”

Have we relinquished much of our ability to think strategically and creatively to the onslaught of increasingly sophisticated technology? Has the technological age, which was supposed to herald a time of increased leisure, in fact enslaved us? We are almost always reacting to television, the Internet, e-mails and phone calls. This forced diet of (other people’s) information may be a necessary evil, but consider the real possibility that we have swung so far in that direction, we aren’t generating and sharing enough of our own original thought. In her book, Leadership and the New Science: Discovering Order in a Chaotic World, author Dr. Margaret Wheatley writes, “The single most revolutionary act you can do these days is to find time to think.”

Time to think, time to pray, time with family, time with friends—these are the components of the fuller and richer lives we all want to lead. Work will always demand as much of our time as we allow. But is technology the real culprit? Probably not. We have the freedom to choose how we spend our time and should take this responsibility onto ourselves. Remember that technology was intended to serve us, and not the other way around.

So how do we create these respites of time we so desperately need? It’s the little things; the small steps that will help us find our “thinking time.” I’ve shared some ideas here:

Start your day on a different note
Don’t run to your computer and turn it on! Rather than checking email or reading the overnight news the moment you wake up, designate the first 20 minutes for reflection, reading, journaling or prayer. Have a cup of coffee, sit down and think about your day. Or perhaps reading or exercise stimulates your brain. Whatever it is, make it your time—it’s the one part of the day when clients aren’t calling and nobody is making demands on your schedule.

Put it on your calendar
You know the saying that if it isn’t scheduled, it will never happen? Try blocking out small windows of time each day for reflection. I borrowed an idea from the Jesuits called the Daily Examen where I schedule five-minute blocks of time throughout the day to reflect on my actions and think about the future. Schedule these time blocks around travel, meal and bed times.

Keith Conley, an EVP with Document Technologies in Atlanta, offers this insight: “In an effort to force myself to sit back and spend time on the big picture, I have found what works best for me is to schedule 90 minute blocks of open time on my calendar two times per week. This creates an opportunity to focus on business strategy, evaluate progress towards business goals and to do a reality check on how I’m spending my time.”

Introduce simplicity into your life
Try reading a book versus listening to the audio version. Spend time with good friends who will challenge you. Listen to beautiful music or watch a classic movie. Take a long walk with your spouse. Do something outside with your kids every day. Embrace their natural curiosity and be grateful they want to learn new things. Make an effort to teach them something about the world and how to think for themselves. Get some time for yourself on the weekend and make sure your spouse does as well.

Don’t feed your compulsions
As a practical measure, turn off the ‘ding’ when new email arrives. It can wait! Don’t feel compelled to answer immediately. Do the same on your PDA. Turning off the audio or LED notification and checking for emails at the appropriate time can add to your ability to concentrate in a conversation or other thinking assignments. Look at other areas that feed tendencies which negatively affect thinking time and make some simple changes.

Hold mini-retreats every quarter
Take a day off once a quarter, if not more frequently. Use this time to relax and plan. Explain to your loved ones that you need this time to collect yourself and get re-energized. The toughest challenge with a mini-retreat is to turn off your PDA and cell phone. Computers are okay if you are trying to capture your thoughts, but don’t plan on checking e-mail.

Schedule/participate in more open discussions and strategy sessions
It can be as formal as inviting your team to a meeting where you throw a problem on the white board for discussion, or as casual as inviting a few friends to lunch to debate politics. When in the presence of your team, colleagues or friends try asking thought-provoking questions. In an effort to break free from simply sharing regurgitated ideas and information, ask “Why” more often.

Regardless of how you do it, this open debate and discussion is healthy and will feed and stimulate you in important ways. And by the way … turn off the PDAs! “In meetings where everyone is checking e-mail, opportunities for collective creative energy and critical thinking are lost,” argues Nathan Zeldes, a senior engineer at Intel and a leader of the nonprofit, Information Overload Research Group.

Designate certain windows of time as “gadget free”
Choose times in the day (car rides are ideal) when all electronics are turned off, even the radio. This will take discipline, but imagine the car as your safe haven and “thought incubator.” Lori Swope, a Principal with Watson Wyatt in Atlanta, has a balance in her life that I admire. She says, “I set aside certain times of the day, not only for thinking and focusing on the people I love the most. Early morning is reserved for prayer, reading and exercise. The morning ride to school with my daughter is our time together - no Blackberries or phone calls. Dinner with my family means no interruptions or other distractions. It takes discipline, but these are my priorities. And my work is always finished!”

Surround yourself with personal advisors
Pat McNulty, former SVP of Allied Waste and president of Barton Protective Services, has found that a “personal” Board of Advisors—consisting of friends, family, colleagues, clergy, etc., can stimulate you to think, calibrate, verify and validate; provide a valuable sounding board for decision-making; ask the tough questions; and provide real inspiration. Periodic and informal “values check sessions,” give us much-needed pause.

He continues: “Learning to drive, we are taught to look in the mirrors and gauge the short distance immediately in front of the car. We’re also instructed to regularly take in the long-range, ‘big picture’ view. In everyday living, how often do we pause, breathe and take in the wider, more meaningful view?”

A good friend recently gave me a beautiful leather writing journal. This thoughtful gift has prompted much of the thinking for this article and initiated a significant change in my daily routine. I enjoy writing and used to email myself ideas or leave myself messages at work—adding to the volumes I already receive. Now, I take the journal with me everywhere and find I’m reaching for it instead of my “technology enablers.” Actually writing by hand provides me a few precious moments between appointments or in the early hours of the day to gather my thoughts on a number of topics and the process has been rejuvenating.

Dan King, Chief Administrative Officer for Allconnect in Atlanta, offers this advice for creating thinking time: “I’ve discovered that three things are needed for me to think creatively – a topic, time and place. During the course of my workweek, I keep a pad to jot down topics that require deeper thinking, business-related or personal. A couple of these topics go with me to my ‘think space,’ which happens to be a quiet café near my home, once or twice a week. This practice has made me a more valued contributor at work and what I hope is a better husband and dad.”

As many of us 40-somethings have a tendency to do, I am taking stock of what’s important and am determined to find the time I need for God, family, work and me. Dr. Ron Young, CEO of TROVE, a national leadership development and coaching firm, recently provided me with this insight: “There are many different types of thinking. In today’s competitive, adrenaline-addicted world, it is easy to fall into the trap of believing that we do not have time to think. Living on autopilot or “living on fast forward” is the quickest way to rushing into inefficiency, errors and hollow living. Research tells us that we can save between four and eight hours for every hour we invest in planning.”

He continues: “We need to make time for big-picture thinking to look beyond ourselves and gain eternal perspective. Without time to think we are unlikely to question popular thinking, to be creative or strategic. Getting outside of ourselves and the rush of our day-to-day lives allows us to reflect, think unselfishly and remember why we are here. Making time to think allow us to connect with deeper needs of meaning and belonging. It allows us to recall that we are human beings, not task-driven robots.”

In conclusion, we give the important areas of our lives our best effort when we’re calm, rested and thoughtful. We own the responsibility to make the necessary changes to give ourselves what we need. Author Dr. Margaret Wheatley also said, “Don’t expect anybody to give you the time to think. You will have to claim it for yourself. If we want our world to be different, our first act needs to be reclaiming time to think. Nothing will change for the better until we do that.” What part of your schedule will you reclaim today to get some thinking time? You read this article and I hope it made you think—that is a good start!

A convergence of economic forces – the bursting of the real estate bubble, the aftermath of the subprime mortgage mess, rising energy prices, rising food prices - are eating away at disposable household income, slowing consumer spending in a number of critical industries, and leading to the elimination of many white collar and blue collar jobs. Tepid economic growth and a shrinking labor market may continue through the fall of 2009.

The bravado of two years ago now has an empty ring. neighborhood conversations have become stilted, as if no one wants to know who is in trouble. There are some obvious signs - usually busy restaurants are vacant, rush hour traffic is lighter, airport parking is easy to find, and a previously jovial neighbor now rushes by avoiding a glance for fear that someone may ask how things are.

For me, this is not just the stuff of news stories…to keep my life science venture afloat, I have taken no pay since January and have cut expenses to the bone. My neighbor’s financial firm just laid off 4,000 people and many friends who have been in residential real estate are in desperate straits. Many of these matriculated to residential real estate after the dotcom bust in 2001. Everyone is anxious, withdrawn, and preoccupied with their own fears.

Do you know if there is a victim of the times next to your house? Do you know who they are? Where they are? Do you care? Whether Catholic or not, Mother Teresa exhorts us in her letters (“Come Be My Light”), “Let us find them, love them.” Love them pro-actively by reaching out to help them in this most traumatic period just as she did with the poor and crippled in Calcutta. If we do not, we are no different than those in Hartford, Connecticut, who watched a 78-year-old man, Ponce, being tossed in the air after being hit by a car and then left in the street like a discarded food wrapper. Ponce is the father of six daughters and one son, with a flock of grandchildren and great-grandchildren. Today, Ponce is paralyzed.

A video of this hit-and-run has been widely aired on TV and internet. It shows people on the sidewalk, after a brief turn of the head, continuing to walk; and approaching cars, rather than stopping, driving around his limp body.

What is unbelievable is that Ponce was not a stranger to this part of Hartford, he was well-known as a neighbor who was always helping others in their time of need. Yet, when his time of need came, no one stopped and responded in a way Ponce certainly would have. There was no one to grab his hand, to offer comfort, to help, to call 911.

Hartford Police Chief Daryl Roberts in his response to this incident noted, “At the end of the day we’ve got to look at ourselves and understand that our moral values have now changed. We have no regard for each other.”

Will you respond to a neighbor in need or will you be like those in Hartford and avoid a limp body in the road? Any human being in a difficult period deserves someone to stop, to respond, to grab a hand, and to offer comfort – to be there for him or her. Does the Traffic Stop in Your Neighborhood?

“Which of these three, in your opinion was the neighbor who fell in with the robbers?” The answer came, “The one who treated him with compassion.” Jesus said to him, “Then go and do the same.” – Luke 10:36-37

Thomas M. LoarieDanville, CaliforniaAugust 15, 2008 - Catholic Business Journal (c)2008

In today’s professional landscape, the term “thought leadership” can be interpreted any number of ways. You see the phrase included in a company’s laundry list of expertise areas, or voiced throughout the course of a strategy meeting. Some business executives embrace the concept more than others, and many bring it to life in a way that benefits the bottom line. Based on my understanding of the subject, I have come to define it this way: Thought leadership is the creation and advocation of an original idea that stimulates change for the benefit of an organization.

But has thought leadership itself become a cliché? Is it a tired and overused buzzword in corporate America? What does it really mean? I suggest we consider a more evolved version of thought leadership—one of thoughtful leadership. One that reflects the enlightened self-interest that should be part of business today, both externally and internally. Consider this quote from David Kelley, philosopher, teacher and writer: “A truly productive person is motivated not only by the monetary return for his work but also by the satisfaction of creating value in the world. The money one earns is a social recognition of that value but cannot replace one’s own judgment and commitment as its source. In the same way, there is a satisfaction in creating value in one’s social environment, a satisfaction that remains even when the value cannot be returned in the form of a definite trade.” – An excerpt from his article titled, Generosity and Enlightened Self-Interest.

The External Focus

Recently, I was invited to serve as panelist at a business forum on thought leadership. As the meeting progressed, it occurred to me that many in the room were looking for ways to connect thought leadership with winning clients and making money. It’s a logical correlation to make, but one that poses risks and challenges. My take on thought leadership is that it must emanate from a pure place in order to be authentic and credible … thereby making it more about thoughtful leadership.

Andrew Dietz, president of Creative Growth Group (www.creativegrowthgroup.com), makes this observation about its appropriate application: “Thoughtful leadership is a critical step when evolving from selling services to building relationships. It is the act of sharing intellectual capital to benefit clients and help them grow. It distinguishes your firm in an otherwise cluttered market and demonstrates your point of differentiation as an expert and advisor. Thoughtful leadership must be driven by the desire to establish long-term relationships versus just affecting the bottom line.”

If you want to be perceived as a thoughtful leader, impart your ideas and intellectual capital for the benefit of others. This selfless investment can range from articles, white papers and case studies to forum sponsorships, speaking engagements and discussions over a shared meal. I believe people recognize when an ulterior motive is at hand. Dare to be different. Make your thoughtful leadership flow from a genuine desire to give voice to your ideas and the hope that your opinions will make a beneficial difference in another person’s life or business.

Thoughtful leadership is not just about selflessly sharing your own ideas. Why not promote the great ideas of others? I have found one of the best ways to invest in clients and friends is to make a gift of a book that has made a positive impact on me. Sending interesting and relevant articles or white papers written by others shows that you have taken an interest and actively listened to their preferences and desires.

Also, thoughtful leadership may be demonstrated through helpful introductions. We all have a specialty of some kind to offer. When clients and friends need help in an area outside your core expertise, why not make an active introduction to another professional who can lend a hand? Think about individuals in your network looking for a new job or needing help of a personal nature. Making any kind of thoughtful connection is easy and a genuine act of kindness that will be best received when there is no expectation of compensation.

Thoughtful leadership is greatly needed in the realm of our local communities. Thoughtful leaders, selflessly investing by actively helping non-profits and charitable organizations, can make a dramatic impact as good stewards. Think about causes that affect you, your team or your company … then act.

Charlie Douglas, J.D., AEP, CFP® is a nationally recognized expert, author and professional advisor in the estate and wealth management industry (www.strategicsteward.com). He shares these thoughts: “Corporate stewardship begins with the mindset that our duties to shareholders, customers and the community are best discharged when we see ourselves as God’s trustee. Much like the laborers in the Lord’s vineyards, we too, are called to high standard of management in the marketplace. As faithful stewards, it takes more than just simply seeking to maximize profits through self-interest. It takes an understanding that we have a responsibility beyond the immediate marketplace, and beyond providing for only our family’s wants and needs. It is inspiring to know that when we go to work in association with others we can positively influence and impact the unspoken needs of many both here and abroad.”

Charlie’s point is clear—we have a responsibility to be good stewards in the communities where we operate our businesses. But, donating to earn a tax break is not enough. We are accountable for utilizing our influence, expertise and time to leave a lasting legacy of good works.

The Internal Focus
Being a thoughtful leader to the people in your charge will perpetuate a work environment that is highly productive and poised for growth. Just as thought leadership must emanate from a pure place in order to be authentic, thoughtful leadership must also be approached with a genuine desire to lead and support others in the same authentic way. Thoughtful leaders are committed to creating a culture based on love (not fear), clear and uncompromising values, passion for investing in and developing people, and inspiring their team to pursue high-minded goals and visionary ideas.
In one of my favorite books, Heroic Leadership, author Chris Lowney has written a business case about the Jesuits, identifying them as one of the most successful companies in history. One of the four “pillars of success” that serve as the foundation of the Order started by Ignatius Loyola is their commitment to building a culture of love. Lowney says: “Everyone knows that organizations, armies, sports teams and companies perform best when team members respect, value and trust one another and sacrifice narrow self-interest to support team goals and their colleagues’ success. Individuals perform best when they are respected, valued and trusted by someone who genuinely cares for their well-being. Loyola was unafraid to call this bundle of winning attitudes ‘love’ and to tap its energizing, unifying power for his Jesuit team. Effective leaders tap its power today as well.”

It is important to understand that the love being described here is agape, the Greek word for love that means charitable or selfless love. The other pillars of success described in the book—self awareness, ingenuity and heroism are critical, but few things define a thoughtful leader more than their ability to foster a love-based culture.

Dean Harbry, managing partner of TROVE (www.troveinc.com), a coaching, leadership development and assessment testing firm in Atlanta, recently shared with me his view on this topic: “The DNA of a true thoughtful leader is empathy, self-control and a powerful drive to develop others. Some would say it’s a calling but I rather view it as a discipline. True love is choosing what’s best for another, not simply feeling an emotion. Our own ego-driven nature sometimes makes the issue more about ‘us’ than ‘them.’ Simply, skilled thoughtful leaders always put others first, manage distressing emotions and reframe interpersonal interactions through the lens of love—willing the highest good for others.”

Nearly every company has a values statement, but rarely can the typical employee recite it, or even articulate ways in which the company practices them. Values must be more than a plaque on a wall or a bulleted list on a web site. They are defining and guiding principles, and it is important that personal and professional values are aligned. Although faith is critically important in defining values, they can and should transcend any one religious affiliation. My Catholic faith is vitally important to me, but the values of our 38-year-old company should and do appeal to anyone who prizes integrity, teamwork, loyalty and selfless investment. Thoughtful leaders will work hard to live up to their values and make sure the clients and employees in their circle of influence will always feel the positive impact of those values.

Dion DeLoof is president of Anteo Group (www.anteogroup.com), a highly-regarded technology staffing firm named one of the Best Places To Work in Atlanta the last three years. He shares this perspective: “We have an opportunity to affect lives deeply every day as technology recruiters that make job and career matches between candidates and employers. Conducting business around our value set is the most important responsibility we have to our clients, candidates and peers. If sales alone were our primary focus, all those that interact with us would sense it. Selflessness, honesty and integrity are our core values, and people pick up on that clearly. Actively look for opportunities to demonstrate you are a thoughtful leader. Great things happen to good people who proudly communicate what they represent.”

Thoughtful leaders invest in and develop the people they lead. One of the most counter-intuitive aspects among many companies today is the focus on sales first, people second. Logically, you’ll never achieve optimum business results without a motivated, trained and inspired team who feels sincerely appreciated, developed and mentored. Fear-based leadership is doomed to fail. Peter Drucker, author and management guru, once said, “No executive has ever suffered because his subordinates were strong and effective.”

As the leader of an executive search firm, I can share with absolute certainty the overwhelming majority of candidates we interview want to leave their jobs because they aren’t receiving this selfless investment, mentoring and personal development from their companies. One of the best ways to demonstrate your commitment to a successful work culture is to show your people charitable, selfless and unconditional love (or agape). Help them develop into the best versions of themselves through aiding their personal growth and watch your retention dramatically improve. Think you don’t have time to invest in your team? Weigh this investment against the notion of leading a team with open positions that is underachieving and performing poorly. Thoughtful leadership will fix this problem.

Inspiration and vision casting are effective tools of the thoughtful leader. Inspire your team to practice many of the external manifestations of thoughtful leadership discussed earlier in this article—sharing ideas, selfless investment in others, active stewardship, etc. Rallying your team to pursue high-minded goals and visionary ideas will increase teamwork, improve retention, boost morale and absolutely drive better results. Read some recent studies about the millennial generation and you will learn that they crave inspiration, vision and everything else the thoughtful leader has to offer.

In conclusion, I challenge you to rethink your approach to thought leadership. As a thoughtful leader you will begin to consider more ways your actions can help others; selflessly investing in people without an expectation of return. Share your great ideas as well as the ideas of others freely with clients, friends and employees. Connect people in your circle of influence just because it is the right thing to do. The community will be grateful as you wield considerable influence to help those in need. Your team will respect you for investing in them and putting their interests ahead of your own. Overall the quality of your relationships will improve dramatically with a more thoughtful approach. And by the way, your business will thrive when you cease to pursue direct financial gain from your thought leadership.

You are already a leader, why not be a thoughtful one?

Most business professionals are acutely aware of the fact that decision-making within our highly technological and multi-layered organizations has become extraordinarily complex and rapid. Computer access, email, the internet, conference calls, integrated systems, and other technological advances, though incredibly positive in their capacity to promote communication, growth, access to resources, and the opening of new opportunities, has also increased the pressure on executives to act more quickly within evermore complex situations. In order to create sufficient time and psychic space to deal with this new pressure, contemporary leaders have incorporated two habits into their “decision-making” apparatus:

1) narrowing the number of factors impinging upon decisions in order to accommodate the short amount of time available for them, and
2) the distinction between so-called “hard factors” and “soft factors” (of which ethics is considered a soft factor which can be eliminated from the narrowed range of decision variables).

In my view, ethics became a “soft factor” because of the above trends toward personalism and toleration (away from rules-based ethics). Because of this, some leaders caricatured ethics as “warm and fuzzy,” which undermined and insulted the discipline. Perhaps worse, it made ethically oriented leaders feel soft, inferior, lesser negotiators, less loyal to the organization, and therefore (ironically), guilty. Many leaders felt that they were imposing more on their people than other leaders; that they were creating an uneven playing field for their employees; that they were creating a hostile work environment rather than a trusting one. Truly good leaders created an atmosphere of personalism and toleration without a feeling of compliance, negativity, and guilt.

Now add the exigencies of increased competitiveness from international companies (who may not see ethics the same way as US companies), from mega-mergers and huge conglomerates, and from the continual threat of being left behind technologically, and one can understand why an atmosphere of looking for shortcuts, indeed, even cutting corners seemed to be the best way to protect one’s organization and its stakeholders. Not only had rules-based ethics begun to disappear, it almost seemed unethical to apply these principles in a business atmosphere which seemed to be overcomplicated or even undermined by them. The stage was set for top leaders (including boards of directors) to ignore intentionally what almost seemed commonplace in the past, and to do everything, absolutely everything (no holds barred) to give their organization competitive advantage in an increasingly complex, international, fast-paced, mega-merging world.

St. Francis of Assisi, the beloved saint who sang the praises of Lady Poverty, offers an unexpected lesson for business professionals, whose rightful concerns include earning a profit rather than pursuing poverty. There are few saints who have had such a profound effect on the Church and the world at large as St. Francis. And certainly among his gifts was raising the awareness of the world to not only the needs of the poor, but also the virtue of embracing detachment to material goods.

Most of us aren’t in a position to literally give up everything and live in what we might term strict poverty. But we can strive for a detachment from the things of this world.

This is true even for monks. Monks (such as the Benedictine, Camaldalese, and Cistercian orders) do not take a vow of poverty. The Evangelical Councils, as we term the three vows of poverty, chastity, and obedience, are a relatively “new” thing in the Church, at least from a monk’s perspective. They only date from about the 13th century. Monks go back a thousand years previous. It was with the mendicant orders, the beggars who lived off donations, especially the Franciscans and Dominicans, that a spotlight was shone on the value of poverty.

Since monks are self supporting, we have always been involved in various enterprises and commerce. The value of private property and what we might term Christian Capitalism is a fundamental aspect of our life. Probably a better term than “private property” is property stewardship. We’re really just called to be stewards of certain portions of creation for the Creator, our ultimate CEO.

Monks do not have any personal possessions, and so de facto live the vow of poverty as the newer congregations live it. But our monasteries have possessions and all the tools necessary to live our life well.

Ours is not a poverty of “lack,” but rather a poverty of simplicity that avoids superfluity – we have and use what we need in order to do what God has called us to do. Any wealth that remains is used for two purposes: almsgiving and prudent foresight/preparation for future needs. This is perhaps a good model for everyone in the world.

I think we can, and should, extend this to our businesses. My monastery’s business, LaserMonks, promotes “Commerce with Compassion.” Wouldn’t this be an apt motto for all our enterprises? Incorporated businesses are considered a juridic person by the government. Shouldn’t they be held to the same standards to which God holds each of us as individuals?

As is so often the case, the most important and powerful aspects of life are the simplest. And often we overlook the simple in the pursuit of the complex and the novel. Such is certainly the case when it comes to the power of quiet, focused contemplation—or pondering.

Someone once told me about an executive for the San Francisco Giants, a general manager named Brian Sabean. An employee for the Giants explained to me that if you walked by Sabean’s office, you could often see him sitting at his bare desk just staring at the wall in front of him. Known as one of the more creative and shrewd executives in baseball, Sabean spent much of his time in deep, undistracted thought. And while his peers and employees thought it was an odd practice at first, they came to understand that it was one of the keys to his success.

As leaders, we need pondering time to reflect on our organizations, our employees, our competitors and the market dynamics we face as well as our own effectiveness leading and managing.

Now, few executives will argue the importance of pondering. But most of them will admit that they don’t do much of it outside of an occasional shower or time alone in the bathroom. Why?

A lot of this has to do with adrenaline addiction, the compulsion we feel to be constantly in motion, busy and productive. The thought of setting aside meaningful time doing something that is not immediately or tangibly beneficial—in fact, that looks like we’re doing nothing at all—is difficult for busy executives to handle.

Another reason pondering is difficult has to do with our society and the media. We are constantly encouraged, even implored, to stay connected at all times. From wireless internet access and cell phones to little television monitors in the back of taxis and on elevators, we are never really allowed to be alone, and we are somehow led to believe that being alone is lonely.

A final reason why pondering isn’t utilized as often as it ought to be has to do with our fear of taking stock. Often, we unconsciously convince ourselves that if we stay busy we can avoid facing the problems in our organizations, and in our lives. I’m convinced that this accounts for a large portion of the adrenaline addiction.

So what are we to do?

First, admit that we are under-pondering, and that our failure to do so is causing our organizations to under-perform, even suffer. Second, tell the people around you that you need to ponder more. That’s right. They may look at you funny, but you’ll need them to help you cancel marginally productive meetings and protect you from distractions that seem urgent but aren’t really that important. Because if you don’t build time into your schedule for pondering—at home and at work—you’ll never make it part of your life.

Oddly enough, deep down inside we crave quiet and peace and solitude. But with our over-booked, over-scheduled lives, we rarely get it. And when we do, we tend to seek out recreation and rest. I must admit that I’ve played spider solitaire on an airplane, which is actually an ideal time for pondering.

Ironically, one of the areas of my life that I do make a priority of pondering is in my role as youth soccer coach. As silly as it sounds, I take time during my commute to turn off the radio or during a flight to sit and think about what is going on with my team and what I need to do to motivate them to play better.

Now, I realize that it might seem strange for a grown man with a large family and a busy career to use any of his scarce and precious time contemplating the merits of using three versus four defenders in the upcoming game against the Walnut Creek Lightning, or which of my 10-year olds is best prepared to play goal keeper. But I decided a few years ago that if I was going to dedicate time and energy to coaching, I might as well do it the best I can, and that by pondering, I give the boys a better chance of succeeding. I also save myself considerable stress on game day when I’m forced to improvise and I’m not really prepared.

So why do I ponder as a soccer coach and fail to do so in other settings? I think it has to do with the immediacy and concreteness of the impact. If I don’t take time to quietly consider how I prepare my boys for the next game, I see the results on the field that weekend. They play poorly. And that poor play is manifest in a score, which is pretty black and white.

Unfortunately, most parts of life are not quite so concrete. The impact of failing to reflect on our work as leaders—or as parents for that matter—doesn’t easily show up on a scoreboard. It usually manifests itself over the long-term, and by the time we see it, we fail to see the connection to our failure to take the time we need to ponder. Which is a shame, because those results are immensely more important than whether my youth soccer team wins.

There is nothing more beautiful in this life than a good friendship. When I was a teenager, my father held out his hand, spread his five fingers wide, and said to me, “If you find five true friends in your lifetime, you will have lived a life infinitely blessed.” At the time, I thought it was a little strange because I had so many friends, but as the years have passed, my father’s wisdom has become more and more apparent.

Friendship

The question I have struggled with over the years is, “What constitutes a true friend?” Perhaps it would be helpful for you to pause for a moment and reflect. Who are your true friends? What makes them good friends?

As a child, I thought friendship was about hanging out together all the time and sticking up for each other when others were critical or cruel. In my adolescence, I thought a true friend was someone who liked everything you liked and never did anything to upset you. But as an adult, I have learned that the defining quality of a true friendship is when the other person encourages you to be all you can be, challenges you to become the-best-version-of-yourself, and vice versa.

What sort of people do you like being with? What types of people give you energy?

As I look at my life and my years of traveling, there are certain people who I yearn to spend time with. Some days, as I walk through the airport and look at the television monitors to see which gate my flight is leaving from, I look at the list of cities and one will catch my eye. For a moment, I wish I were going to that city. Why? Because there is someone in that city who inspires and energizes me to be all I can be.

I love being around people who are constantly striving to better themselves. They energize me. They inspire me. They challenge me.

Socially, I try to surround myself with people who make me want to be a better person. I admit they are not easy to find, but when you do find them, they are more precious than any treasure or pleasure this world has to offer.

If you want a litmus test for choosing friends, use this question: Will spending time with this person make me want to be a better person?

Spiritual Friends & Loneliness

I try to apply this truth not only to my social life, but also to my spiritual life. This is why the saints are such good friends. They challenge us to become all we can be and encourage us to become the-best-version-of-ourselves. But the real beauty is found in their method. They don’t preach endless sermons, and they don’t try to impose their views on others - they challenge, inspire, and encourage us simply by living their own lives to the fullest. That is the social dynamic of holiness. It is attractive, and it is contagious.

If you and I sit down at lunch and you order soup and a salad, it makes me think twice about ordering a double cheeseburger with bacon and fries. If my friends are going to the gym after work, I feel that inner nudge to work out myself. If a colleague is honest and humble about a mistake he has made, I am humbled by his example of humility.

Goodness is contagious. The problem is, so is evil. The challenge for you and me, as Christians in the midst of the modern world, is to be examples of good living.

None of us realize how much we influence others. Everything you do, people are watching, and everything you say, people are listening. The influence of your words and actions is contributing to the way they live their lives. In A Call to Joy, I wrote, “You will learn more from your friends than you ever will from books. Choose your friends wisely.”

This is why the saints are such treasures. They may have lived in another place and time, but they can be true friends. I’d rather spend a couple of hours with Francis of Assisi and Teresa of Avila than with some of my contemporaries on a Friday night getting drunk. I’d much rather spend time with dead people who inspire me to be all I can be than with live people who lead me to be just a shadow of all God created me to be.

I promise you, it is better to spend time with dead people who bring you to life than with live people who lead you to death.

From time to time, I meet people who are dating a person they know they don’t want to spend the rest of their lives with. If you ask them why, they say it is because they don’t like being alone. I have learned it is better to be alone than with the wrong person.

Don’t be afraid of your loneliness. Use it as an opportunity to befriend people who inspire you. Harness your loneliness as a chance to befriend the saints.

Foster this Spirit

The one quality we should try to develop is this striving to better ourselves. Each morning when I am showering, I ask myself the same question: What will it take today for me to become the better person I know I can be? Then I go through the four major areas of life: physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual. In each of these areas, I try to focus on one thing I can do that day to grow.

It is the transformation that energizes us and fills our lives with passion and enthusiasm.

Focus on developing the spirit of transformation in your life. When you are choosing friends, choose those who are striving to better themselves. And if you are young and single, and sense you are called to marriage, seek a soul mate, a spouse, a companion for the journey who has this quality.

Bright Lights

The saints were remarkable men and women, but surprisingly what made them remarkable was rarely anything too spectacular. What made them extraordinary was the ordinary. In the ordinary things of everyday life, they strove to grow in virtue. If they were caring for the sick, they were growing in humility. When they were educating the children, they were growing in patience.

There is something ultimately attractive about holiness. When holiness emerges in any place and time, all men and women of good will are inspired. What is it that makes them so attractive? The saints want to improve themselves. It is this one quality that is incredibly attractive and ultimately inspiring. They are not proud and arrogant about who they are and what they have done. They are focused on becoming the-best-version-of-themselves. They are striving with all their might to become the better people they know they can be. All their time, effort, and energy are focused on becoming perfectly the person God created them to be.

Recently, I walked into a bookstore, and sitting on the shelves in the front of the store, were several large coffee-table type books. One of them caught my eye, so I walked over to have a look. For the next ten minutes, I flipped through the pages of two books, glancing at the pictures, and a great fire was fanned in my heart. One was about the life of Mother Teresa and the other about the life of John Paul II. The world has a great need for the example of authentic lives because we all need to be inspired. We need to be reminded of what is possible. These people have allowed God to fill them with his love, and the glow of that love alive in them is blinding. The power of their lives and the greatness of their spirits cannot be adequately put into words. But occasionally, in the memory of an event in their lives, or in the story a photo tells, we catch a glimpse.

Just passing through those pages, glancing at the pictures, my heart was elevated and my spirit began to soar. Just looking at those pictures made me want to be a better person. I didn’t even read a word. That is the power of these great lives.

They are the personification of that phrase from Matthew’s Gospel - Luceat Lux Vestra - “Let your light shine” (Matthew 5:16). And because they have allowed God to shine so powerfully through them, men and women of all faiths gasp in awe of their presence.

Even a blind man knows when he is in the presence of a bright light.

There is nothing more attractive than holiness. Throughout history, wherever men and women of holiness have lived, the Church has blossomed and bloomed. This is the answer to all of our questions and the solution to all of our problems - holiness of life.

It is probably apparent to most that moral training within households, churches, and schools has moved from “rules-based” to “ends-based” ethics. The origins of this trend were quite well-intentioned. During the early 1960s, psychologists and psychoanalytically-based philosophers and theologians tried to give emphasis to empathy, respect for the individual person, and care, which gave rise to a kind of teleological personalistic ethics (one that associated good actions with optimizing empathy, respect, and care within particular situations). This was an exceptionally important and good trend in human relations, workplace environment, family environment, and even ethics. However, it had one major drawback. Some of the key proponents of personalistic ethics claimed that depersonalized ethics was attributable in great part to the overemphasis on rules-based ethics. This contention might have been true in a limited number of situations, but it certainly did not warrant or substantiate the false dichotomy between personalistic ethics and rules-based ethics that soon resulted. Some psychologists even proposed that in order to be free to empathize with and care for others deeply, we had to get over our “hang-ups” about rules and the guilt associated with them. As this false dichotomy worked its way into the commonsense environments of the workplace, popular media, family, church discussion groups, high school classrooms, and even university seminars, it became commonly accepted. Many academicians even suspected that too many rules would “stunt” one’s capacity for empathy and love. Rules almost seemed to get in the way of ethics!

The above false dichotomy combined with another phenomenon to produce a virtual eclipse of rules-based ethics within the culture, namely, the absolutizing of the principle of toleration. Again, the demise of rules-based ethics seems to have arisen out of what was initially a good, helpful, and important movement within Western culture. The late 70s, 80s, and 90s brought with them not only a vigorous desire for racial and ethnic diversity, but also a desire to respect all cultures and dispositions out of respect for individuals, and a desire to reverse historical momenta of inequity. These movements were not only well-motivated, but responsible in great part for social progress and the alleviation of past injustices.

Unfortunately, as with the proponents of personalistic ethics, the proponents of toleration created a false dichotomy between their main principle and rules-based ethics. Some proponents declared that ethical rules belonged to Western or Judeo-Christian culture, and that insistence on these rules was tantamount to cultural insensitivity (at the very least), or cultural domination (at worst). Some proponents even suggested that such principles represented religious arrogance, the sanctioning of religion, workplace intolerance, religious intolerance within schools, and so forth. The absolutization of the principle of tolerance seemed to be directly proportionate to the decline of rules-based ethics.

It must be emphasized here that the principles of toleration, cultural diversity, and pluralism are very positive. A problem occurs only when toleration is absolutized, set above all other principles, and therefore set into a false dichotomy with those other principles. Nevertheless, the problem happened, and it significantly undermined rules-based ethics in Western culture. In order to avoid the seeming negative influence of rules-based ethics, educators and church leaders advocated a movement away from it toward “values training.” Values training does not necessarily advocate an elucidation of ethical, unethical, moral, or immoral behaviors, but only an elucidation of what a particular person considers to be valuable. Thus, the objectives of values training could be satisfied by simply saying, “I consider monetary security, feeling right about life, and a modicum of love to be valuable; therefore, I will have lived a good life if I have pursued and have been able to acquire some of these ‘values.’” This represents a significantly weaker ethical position than radical utilitarianism and situationism, for it does not even advocate a minimization of harm or a maximization of social benefit.

The sad part about the above trends is that the dichotomy drawn between personalism/toleration and rules-based ethics is quite unnecessary, misleading, and harmful. One can believe in inviolable principles and the intrinsic dignity of others simultaneously. Indeed, the two are mutually complementary! One can also believe in inviolable principles and toleration for individual and cultural differences simultaneously. One need only remember that toleration cannot be absolute, for tolerance of what is destructive of others can be the worst form of intolerance of their personhood. When tolerance becomes absolute, it generally leads to inherent contradictions. If one tolerates genocide, one is blind to the inalienable rights of the non-tolerated group.

As personalism and the “absolutizing of toleration” became more accepted, the falsely dichotomized rules-based ethics became less accepted, and television shows, movies, family discussions, church sermons, and grade school / high school discussions barely mentioned right or wrong, good or evil, good character or bad character, or “thou shalt not….” We became extremely positive toward the positive, but failed to be negative toward the negative. As will be seen, the latter is just as important as the former in the prevention of public calamity and the restoration of the public trust. A resolution to our current ethical difficulties will require a redressing of the above false dichotomies.

I was having lunch with the top salesperson of a company. I asked Ryan what he did that made him so successful. Ryan’s answer was stunningly simple and equally profound. He said, °Two things. First, I give everyone a chance to buy from me. I don’t care who they are or what they look like. I give everybody the same chance to buy from me. The customers that other salespeople run away from, I run to them. Second, once I’ve properly qualified my customers and I am faced with the likelihood that they aren’t able to buy today, I give them five extra minutes. Do I waste some time? I guess I do, but let me tell you, I don’t know what it is about those extra five minutes, but I have been able to put together deals in that time. Worst case, my customers appreciate the fact that I was willing to spend a few extra minutes with them. In fact, I’ve even gotten a couple of referrals from those five minutes. I call it “my last chance dance.”

The funny part is that another salesperson was sitting there with us and upon hearing Ryan’s comments said, “Nah, that can’t be it, that’s too simple. There’s got to be something else. Come on, tell us what you really do.”

The truth is sales is not all that complicated. Or rather, it is only complicated if you let it be. Some salespeople turn what

could be a mutually beneficial encounter into a stress-inducing event. They make what is essentially a simple process into a complex one. Let me see if I can help undo the unnecessary complexity.

The concept and content of my book, Christ-Centered Selling, is simple. It’s about three principles. Establish trust, create value, serve the customer. That’s it. Often times the simple truths are the most profound. And so it is with these. Let me start with a little detail on each of the principles.

Establish trust as the basis for doing business

Trust is the single most important factor in determining the likelihood of a sale; no trust, no sale. Trust is absolutely essential to the success of Christ-Centered Selling. Without trust there can be no persuasion; there is only manipulation. This point cannot be stressed often enough or strongly enough. Trust enables persuasion; distrust leads to manipulation. Trust arouses interest; distrust arouses suspicion.

Without trust, your customers become objects to be manipulated instead of people to be persuaded. Without trust there can be no basis for a relationship, short-term or long-term. Without trust the sales process becomes filled with slick questions and tired clichés. With trust your customers see you as an ally rather than an enemy. With trust a sense of mutual respect is able to take root and grow. With trust the process is more peaceful and more profitable.

Create value in you and your product or service

The second principle of Christ-Centered Selling is to create value in you and your product or service. More often than not, it is the value that you create in yourself (as opposed to your product) that matters most. Creating value in you is firmly establishing in your customers’ minds what your worth is to them. Creating value in your product or service is firmly establishing in your customers’ minds the worth of your product or service to them.

If your customers do not perceive value, why would they want to buy your product? If your customers do not perceive value, why would you want them to buy your product? A Christ-Centered salesperson never sells a customer unless he first establishes trust and creates value. For a Christ-Centered salesperson knows that not to do so makes the process complicated, indeed.

Serve the customer without regard for the sale

The third principle of Christ-Centered Selling is to serve the customer without regard for the sale. You serve customers best by giving them both what they want and how they want it, whether or not they buy from you. This is the true heart of the Christ-Centered salesperson: selfless service. What if you really believed and acted as if your mission as a salesperson was to serve and not to sell? What if your guiding principle was, °How can I serve my customers, whether or not they ever buy from me?°® How would that change how you do business? This third principle is the capstone for many and a stumbling block for others.

What makes these principles Christ-Centered is that they are contained in Scripture, both implicitly and explicitly. Over the course of the next few articles I will be examining these principles in light of Scripture and our Catholic faith.

Everyday it strikes me more and more clearly that while success is the most revered aspiration in our modern society, our individual and collective need is for something much simpler. If you scratch just below the surface you discover that the hearts and lives of millions of people in this success-oriented world are plagued by loneliness, isolation, lack of friendship and intimacy, broken relationships, boredom, feelings of emptiness and depression, and a deep sense of uselessness.

Just on the other side of the contemporary facade of wealth, success, popularity, and power, is an overwhelming dissatisfaction and an immense interpersonal and spiritual poverty. If you listen carefully, from behind that facade you will hear a cry: “Is there anybody who loves me? Is there anybody who really cares? Is there anybody interested in spending time with me? Is there anybody who wants to be with me when I am not in control, when I am not successful, when I just feel like crying? Is there anybody who can hold me and give me a sense of belonging?”

Our great need as human beings is for love. We each need opportunities both to love and to be loved.

This message of love was of course most powerfully manifested in the life and teachings of Jesus Christ. When He was alive, men were seeking power, efficiency, control and success just as they do today. The ways of the world do not change. When Christ walked the earth, the world did not pay Him any attention. They crucified Him and disposed of Him. He was useless to their selfish and loveless designs. Two thousand years ago His message of love was rejected by a world in search of power, success, and control. The ways of the world do not change, but nor do the ways of God.

God is love. Nothing can convince me of otherwise, and His love is unconditional and independent. His love is not dependent on what we can do, or what we have accomplished. He loves us because we are His children - the fruits of His own creativity and love. The love of God does not need to be earned; it simply needs to be accepted. But we have so much difficulty acknowledging and accepting His love.

There is an exercise that I use from time to time during prayer. I begin by sitting still, closing my eyes, and imagining a time when I felt truly loved. For a few moments I allow myself to relive the experience in my mind, absorbing the love I was shown at that time by that person. Then I begin to

imagine different times when I have experienced love in my life, one after another. After a minute or two I start to run through the times when I have witnessed the love between other people. Then I start to imagine all the love that people have shown each other throughout human history. In my mind I allow all this love to collect in one enormous bucket as if it were water. And then, I tell myself, “Take all the love you have ever experienced, together with all the love you have ever witnessed, together with all the people throughout history have given and received, and place it all together. Then multiply it by infinity and take it to the depths of eternity, and you will still have barely a glimpse of the love of God.”

When I come to this point in my meditation I simply allow myself to bathe in the love of God. I just sit there and allow Him to completely immerse me in His love.

Just days after suffering the unimaginable torments of being crucified, the risen Lord appeared to a small group of friends. There on the beach, Jesus turned to Peter and said, “Simon, son of John, do you love me more than these others do?” Peter replied and Jesus asked again, “Do you love me?” Again Peter replied, “Yes, Lord, you know I love you.” But Jesus asked a third time, “Do you love me?”

True God and true man. Perfectly God and perfectly man. While Jesus was alive His only concern had been to announce the unconditional love of God, yet He had just one question, “Do you love me?”

Very often the questions we ask determine the direction of our lives. Once we see the world for what it is, we discover that the question is not: How successful are you? How many people take you seriously? How much money do you earn? What college did you go to? What type of car do you drive? How much are you going to accomplish? No, the real question is: Are you in love with God? Do you know the heart of God? The heart of God is a heart that forgives, it is a heart that cares, a heart that reaches out and wants to heat. It is a heart that listens and understands. In the heart of God you will not find suspicion, vindictiveness, resentment, or hatred. It is a heart that simply and solely desires to give love and receive love. It is a heart of great joy and deep peace, but the heart of God also experiences torturous pain because its sees the immensity of human suffering. To those who will overcome the great resistance and learn to trust, the heart of God offers unending hope and deep, deep consolation.

In our world of loneliness, brokenness, and despair there is a great need for men and women who know the heart of God. Only these men and women will remind our tired culture that every time fear, isolation, and despair begin to intimidate and invade the human soul, this is not the work of God.

God is love and only love. He has no desire to manipulate us around to His point of view, but He calls us gently and persistently to experience His love. This alone is our common need and our universal desire: simply to know that we are loved, unconditionally and without limitation.

Simply to know that we are loved…Sadly, few people do.